Rick McGinnis (proud father of two) on flying what I (being childless) like to call Screaming Baby Airlines

You will also be up close and personal when your child explosively regurgitates the strained peas and Cheezies you’ve been feeding it during a bumpy descent in a poorly pressurized Airbus. (I’m painting this scenario from a still-very-vivid memory.) With this inevitability in mind, dress accordingly; I’m thinking gore-tex or PVC. Something washable. With a garden hose.

That could be a cute comedy skit, btw: the stewardess’ pre-flight safety panto, except with “stinky diaper” gestures…