5 Feet of Fury

Jim Goad: No burritos for you!

Jim Goad writes:

I’m not a fan of Mexican food, for reasons which should be obvious. Although I hold Mexicans in the highest esteem as a proud and noble (if exceedingly short) people, they tend to score poorly on standardized tests and have never invented much of note beyond nachos. I can’t think of a single Mexican comedian, musician, writer, or filmmaker who’s inspired me. To put it bluntly, I’ve never appropriated anything from them because I’ve never wanted to. (…)

Let’s forget about the fact that the burrito has a mongrelized cultural history and as best we know, its first occurrence in American print came in 1934 and referred to a restaurant in the American state of New Mexico, not Mexico.

And let’s not mention—because it would be racist—the fact that if Mexicans were forced to do without all European inventions so long as they could have the humble burrito back, they’d be screaming their apologies and throwing their burritos over the wall that Donald Trump keeps promising to build.