5 Feet of Fury

TCM tonight: Mamie van Doren juvie extravaganza!

Do NOT call me after 8 pm!

This movie has it all. There’s Mamie van Doren as a super-intelligent professor/tassel-tosser. There’s her pet monkey that plays the piano and the drums. There’s a robot. There are gangsters. There’s a ten-minute dream sequence of topless strippers. There’s a high-speed firetruck driving scene with lots of nice 50s cars. There’s Mamie making an introduction to her new students by shooting two revolvers all over the lecture room. Mamie shooting at the camera with a fire extinguisher. Conway Twitty singing rock’n’roll. Vampira making an appearance as a shaggy lab assistant. Brigitte’s sister Mijanou Bardot sweet-talking as a French exchange student. What more could you possibly want?

Also? Holy f***ing f***? Harlan Ellison’s The Oscar (1966) is FINALLY being broadcast, on June 25.

Jill St. John as a stripper, Tony Bennett as an Irish Jew, and later on we get Milton Berle as an honest agent with a heart of gold (This universe is getting stranger and stranger)…