Some random person walking down the street pouring chocolate sauce on people’s heads is not “Baptism”.
Giving someone cheese and crackers at a party is not “Communion”.
Standing up and declaring you have a new name and then having a party afterwards is not “Confirmation”.
You can’t just take religious words and apply them to some secular event that is related only in a minor cosmetic way and claim they’re the same. It’s insulting. And makes you look crazy.
Especially if you are standing there, insisting your name is Moonchild now, eating crackers, with chocolate on your forehead.