5 Feet of Fury

What movies get wrong

Movies get a lot right and a lot wrong.

The “wrong” stuff tends to happen when movies (and TV) get all “deep” and metaphorical and “what if” on you — “hey, what if there was a JEWISH suicide bomber, huh??”; “Hey, let’s make the aliens stand-ins for black South Africans (even though the “invaders” were in fact white guys. Whatever!)

Even stuff that seems kinda profound at the time, especially when you’re 12, bursts bright then disappears like fireworks — or “Rosebud.”

The more you think about this “profound” stuff — the alleged Vietnam War symbolism in Night of the Living Dead — the less authentic it seems.

And sometimes, like in The Day the Earth Stood Still, reality sinks the message and the filmmakers don’t even realize it: the utopian liberals who filmed TDTESS pretty much admitted that:

But Hollywood liberals put out the movie anyway, with a straight face, and stil think it’s all deep and profound.

Now, far too much ink/pixels have been wasted making a Very Big Deal about “atomic monsters” like Godzilla.

Usually the “critic” throws in some tossed off thing about “the red scare” (see video below) which is stupid because a) it’s not a scare if it’s ****ing real and b) there really isn’t any surtext or subtext about communism or the Soviets in these monster films.

The Soviets get mentioned once in a while because they existed during that time. If they are in the film at all, the Soviets are barely visible background scenery.

Seriously: listen very carefully to the actual dialogue in these 1950s/early 60s films. The “monster” is NOT usually a stand in for “the Ruskies” — it is a monster of the American’s/whoever’s own (accidental/secret) making, and I’m pretty sure not even Chomsky thinks the USSR is/was some kind of US client state or whatever that expression is.

Now, it comes as no surprise that the Japanese would start making movies about giant radioactive things crushing their cities. But notice something few people do: these monsters crush Japanese cities.

You’d think the Japanese would make movies about Godzilla smashing New York or Washington. Didn’t happen.

Weird, huh?

(Just think: you could’ve taken my advice and nuked Afghanistan on the afternoon of September 11, 2001, and today the biggest “fallout” we’d have to put up with would be a few more lousy Muslim scary movies.

(The crazy Japanese have been kissing our butts ever since we nuked them. Look how quickly they switched from “Emperor-worshipping-supremacist-suicide-bomber-cultists” over to “used-schoolgirl-panty-dispenser inventors”? When will you people learn to listen to me?)

We read here that “viewers identified with [Godzilla].” This is news to me but ok:

What does that say about the Japanese? (And who cares anyway, as long as they aren’t trying to kill us?)

This isn’t like people identifying with Boris Karloff’s Frankenstein’s monster, which is understandable given Karloff’s performance and the characterization of that monster as a lonely misfit who never asked to be born.

In contrast, I can’t imagine a less “human” monster in every way than Godzilla; there are robot monsters that are more human.

Let’s look at what happens during a typical American made atomic monster movie:

A monster is CREATED by an atomic explosion and it attacks America.

But here’s what happened in real life:

America was attacked a monster, which it then DESTROYED by an atomic explosion.

The exact opposite of what you see in all those movies:

You think this doesn’t matter, but it does, because liberals BASE THEIR LIVES ON MOVIES and liberals run the world:

When I volunteered as an AIDS buddy, I had this idea that I’d get someone like Harvey Fierstein, only dying—a charming gay gentleman, facing death with dignity, intelligence and humor.

Instead I got a despicable crackhead who informed me that he’d willfully infected scores of clients because “f**gots just want to f**k and get AIDS.” Charming.