5 Feet of Fury

‘A Christmas Story’ gives me hives. You think I’m kidding. (UPDATED)

If I’d written ‘A Christmas Story,’ the kid would’ve gotten a real gun then killed his stupid parents with it. The father gets tortured with that lamp first, though. **** I hate that movie.

UPDATE: I barely remember what I’ve written here 9 hours ago, let alone 9 years. But some of my readers do, and one of them tells me I posted this before. Enjoy: