5 Feet of Fury

Ed Anger says: ‘Stop being gay!

America’s angriest columnist is madder than a tranny whose run out of duct tape…

Every time I turn on the TV, there’s some new fruitcake on it! And I don’t mean that two-ton brown thing full of hundred-year-old green cherries and wrapped in plastic I get from my mother-in-law every Christmas! (…)

I don’t mind having a few fruitcakes around. Somebody has to invent new wallpapers and play field hockey and keep U-Haul in business.

That Liberace was ok. And that lady on Maude could be funny sometimes. But too many and everything gets messed up. I can only deal with one or two of them on my television at one time.