5 Feet of Fury

Disgraced Madoff spends Hannukah with alien!

“It’s terrible not being with your children during the holidays,” Madoff told reporters. “No one will talk to me, no one wanted to share my latkes or drink my Manischevitz. That’s why I was so delighted to get a call from the Alien. He knows what its like to be scrutinized and probed.”

There are reportedly photos of the Alien comforting a weeping Madoff after he lost chocolate coins during a dreidle game, but Weekly World News has yet to verify this.