5 Feet of Fury

“America needs to have a superficial conversation about race”

The Onion, but barely…

It’s our duty to put aside the complexities of cross-cultural communication and focus on the first idea that comes to mind. Then, after we’ve wasted 20 minutes discussing whether the term black is offensive, we can repeat the first idea over and over until we have alienated all listeners who did not already agree with us at the beginning.

Is that so very hard?

I’m talking about ill-informed citation of unconfirmed statistics on affirmative action programs. I’m talking about patronizing notions of ethnic identity. I’m talking about multisyllabic, intellectual-sounding terms like “victimization” and “social responsibility” and “self-actualization.”

The time has come to start saying foolish, foolish things about the O.J. trial once again.