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5 Feet of Fury

Kathy Shaidle's blog. Est. 2000

Joe Bob Briggs: “Despacito” for Gringos

October 5, 2017 By Kathy Shaidle

Who says Puerto Ricans are good for nothing??

I’ve never heard this song and don’t care to, especially since it’s so popular.

But apparently it’s a huge thing, so here’s Joe Bob Briggs:

When the most popular music video in the world (3.8 billion views) is about the premeditated stalking of a woman by not just one but two guys while telling her in graphic detail what they plan to do to her body because “we know you’re thinking about it,” there are certain unintended consequences.

Like when the song plays in the waiting room of your dentist’s office and everyone bops along to the line about how he wants to put his fingers inside her because, you know, it’s okay because it’s in Spanish.

Or when all the 5-year-olds learn the words, including the part where he tells her to “teach his mouth” what to do to her, because there’s nothing in the kindergarten teachers’ manual about spontaneous group celebration of the vagina by prepubescent children.

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Filed Under: Kathy Shaidle

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