They’ll have long nails, ostensibly to show that they’re ladies of leisure, but signalling to the rest of us that they’re very likely parasites with low sex-drives. They like big weddings – and as a liking for big weddings often goes hand in hand with humourlessness, they often have very short marriages. (…)
Once the sheen is off her skin, the Princess has nothing that would make one seek her out; like a lot of people over-keen on spangles and glitter, they are at heart rather drab people – drains not radiators, personality-wise – who never make things happen or drive things forward but rather wait to be rescued. (…)
But if all your ambitions can be summed up as a desire to be seen as special, you’d better make sure that your tiara’s not paste, because you’re going to need something to hock in the long morning after you’ve been mugged by Mother Nature.
