Joe Bob Briggs returns:
In the course of my talk at the Chattanooga Film Festival last week, I noted that almost every alleged white person in East Tennessee claims Cherokee blood. Far from being proud of their direct Indian-killing ancestors like Andrew Jackson, they instead claim lineage from the “Trail of Tears” side of the Cherokee Wars, which ran from 1776 to 1794.
“Yep, I’m one-eighth Cherokee, and my wife is one-sixteenth Cherokee.” This is always stated with an undertone of “Aren’t I special?” pride, as though at any moment they could break into an earth-spirit drumming ritual. Don’t judge by the name tag on my Sears Auto Repair jumpsuit, they seem to be saying, I’M REALLY A WILD MAN. (…)
And if we really wanna get serious about this stuff, we need to add some in-between categories for people like our 44th president:
Not That Black: Sidney Poitier, Halle Berry.
Not That White: Omar Sharif, Vin Diesel.
Not That Samoan: The Rock.
Probably, I Don’t Know, You Guess: Derek Jeter.