5 Feet of Fury

Jim Goad: Women’s Strike a Huge Bust

Jim Goad writes:

American women account for 42% of “legislators, senior officials, and managers” in this country. That’s a higher quotient than all the poofy places such as Canada and Western Europe that are supposedly far more gender-enlightened than the 24-Hour Rape Palace that is supposedly Donald Trump’s America. Women in the USA rank among the world’s most entitled when it comes to things such as personal freedom and overall welfare.

But none of this mattered to the Vagina Strikers. As a result of women across this great borderless planet uniting to play hooky from work while clad head-to-toe in menses-tinted red and exclusively patronizing coffee shops owned by black lesbian midgets, the global systems of capitalist colonialism and white supremacy would come crashing down when everyone realized that nothing could function without delusional middle-aged white clam-diggers who pop SSRIs and own thousands of cats. It was to be Lysistrata,, but with women withholding labor and money instead of sex—and judging from the looks of many protestors, it’s not as if the latter was an option, anyway.

At least that’s how it was supposed to go.