5 Feet of Fury

Joe Bob Briggs: A Brief History of the Redneck

Joe Bob Briggs writes:

Ready? I call your attention to that part of Ireland called Ulster. Not Northern Ireland. Ulster. It’s not the same thing. Notice that it looks like one of those maps of Antarctica or Saudi Arabia that used to say “Unknown Region” or “Empty Quarter.” This is the part of Ireland that was so wild it had no real boundaries for centuries. It was just “that part up north where everything is out of control.”

If you’re a white human, born and raised in the South, that’s where you’re from—but you’re not really Irish. I’ll explain that later.

So what do we know about the Ulster area of Ireland?

It’s full of pissed off people who own incendiary devices.

That’s our heritage.