“If Lying Is The New Truth, Is Anal The New Oral?”

Have you noticed that, the more promises Trump hurries to keep, the higher left raises the volume on his administration being full of “liars”?

I know that “Anal has been the new oral” for almost 20 years now, and I’m just an old right wing prude. That Jim Behrle isn’t aware of this serves as an accidental “tell” regarding his sexual sophistication, which I thought was a mandatory “thing” on the left, up there with ugly piercings, a collection of (recently purchased) vinyl albums, and other signs of conformity.

He also believes the “hatless Jack” thing, so, like lots of progressives, his worldview is shaped by things that didn’t actually happen.

But fun writing is fun writing…

Kellyanne Conway could talk the finish off a doorknob. To hear her speak is a pleasant romp through the entire Fallacies List. Even when she comes up with something ridiculous like “alternative facts,” it’s hard to dislike her. She’s doing donuts in the parking lot around stiffs in suits who are trying to dabble in reality, while she is a true artist of the impossible. Give it up, stiffs! She must have run track for Mineola Prep, like Frank O’Hara. I’m not sure why she even keeps getting invited to shows in which her appearances are so reliably reality-free. But I could watch her torment Jake Tapper all day. (…)

Plus, you fib every once in a while, too. When that neo-nazi got punched in the face the other day you felt delight. And yet you insist to everyone that will hear you that violence is not the answer. But it is an answer to something. Did you ever think you’d be in a hole this deep in which that felt good? It was mesmerizing. I watched it over and over again. I tried to justify it, and I can’t. That’s how far down we’ve been pushed. So don’t start lying on top of it. We don’t need lies. We need candy. Lots and lots of candy.