5 Feet of Fury

Preview of my new Taki’s column tomorrow…

Well, thanks for (almost) nothing, bitches. Because startlingly (especially considering the pre-march “intersectional feminist catfighting” reported by our own Jim Goad) a few hundred thousand protesters really truly turned up for the #WomensMarch in D.C., and at “sister” rallies across the apparently suckier parts of the planet.

How? Everyone knows that most women are generally lackadaisical and incompetent. (As blogger Kate McMillan likes to say, “If women ran the world, we’d still be living in caves — but with really, really fancy curtains.”)

Then I realized:

One thing women are good at is organizing get-togethers with other women. Every cubicle job I’ve ever had consisted of almost daily bridal and baby and birthday parties, and the all-important “going for lunch,” occasionally punctuated by work.

Damn. So I had to pivot from gloating about puny attendance, to collecting evidence of the marchers’ idiocy, which, of course, proved laughably easy…