5 Feet of Fury

‘I don’t wanna say Donald Trump has contempt for established rules, but he’s planning his third term’

Joe Bob Briggs explains “How to think Trump”:

Scott Pruitt, the Attorney General of Oklahoma, is being appointed by Trump to head the EPA because Trump wants to piss off the environmentalists. “Environmental” is in the name of the agency—hence, Trumpian logic applied, you need somebody who is gonna nuke the D.C. attitude. Pruitt has defended ExxonMobil, sued the EPA numerous times over the Clean Power Plan, and is basically in favor of fracking, canceling the Paris climate deal, and packaging mercury, arsenic, and California smog as ingredients in craft beers sold at minor-league ballparks. But those are not even the most annoying things about him. He’s also a deacon at the First Baptist Church of Broken Arrow and a trustee of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, which is located in “The Ville”—Louisville, Kentucky. People in Kentucky think the EPA was invented to destroy their coalfields. (…)

But Scott Pruitt is really just a decoy. He’s an obvious target so that nobody will notice the rest of the upcoming Trump appointments. I just got off the phone with Steve Bannon and, in spite of anything you might have read, this is the lineup for 2017 (…)

Associate Justice of the Supreme Court: In an effort to bring more diversity to the court, Trump’s appointment will be Pam Grier—black, female, and keenly aware of injustice ever since she was unfairly defeated by Roberta Collins in the mud-wrestling scene of The Big Doll House. Pam is a big supporter of oral arguments and thinks she can bring brevity and clarity to deliberations with lines like “Death is too easy for you, bitch!” and “You just handle the justice, I’ll handle the revenge myself.”