5 Feet of Fury

My NEW Taki’s column: The ‘Eat, Pray, Love’ lady’s late-onset lesbianism

How can the comments possibly be “JOOOOO!”-y today…?

Alas, I’m doomed once again to be excluded from all this zeitgeistyness.

If, as we’re constantly being informed, sexuality is fluid, then mine most resembles a stagnant swamp. As a raving heterosexual, becoming a lesbian seems the midlife-crisis moral equivalent of selling a sports car you already own, rather than buying a new one. Intimate female friendships, even those morbidly so, are no mystery to me; I was a teenage girl once, and a weird one at that. Look, I own Heavenly Creatures on Blu-ray, okay?

However, the appeal of girl/girl sex escapes me, either as a spectator or a participant. It seems too much like drinking chamomile tea, except naked.