5 Feet of Fury

My NEW Taki’s column, on the burkini ban

Not sure how you can blame the burkini on the “JOOOOOOZ!!!” but surely some commenters will try…

And yes, the tinderbox spark—that arrest on the Nice beach—looks a lot like a Rosa Parks-type stunt, another Muslim “hate crime” provocation.

I know all this. And yet, back to my days as a teenage anarchist. When I wasn’t wearing my Catholic high school uniform—in its least perv-arousing iteration: an over-the-knee kilt and cable-knit leotards, whatever the season—I traipsed around town in Slits-inspired, man-repellent getups: long-john bottoms and army surplus pants topped with baggy “urchin” sweaters.

I didn’t wear (Bermuda only) shorts in public until I was over 30, sometimes using sun-sensitive lupus as my alibi. And if I could afford to, and actually left my house enough to warrant it, I’d stock up on Solumbra’s SPF clothing, which includes full-sleeved rash guards and ankle-length swimming tights. If I wore those on a French beach, would I be ticketed too? Would Diane Keaton?