5 Feet of Fury

My NEW Taki’s column: Hillary Clinton is My Evil Twin

Once again, I have no idea how “JOOOOOO!!!!”-y the comments can/will possibly be…

INTJs account for an estimated 0.8 percent of the female population. We’re the rarest of the sixteen types, and having to share that distinction with Hillary takes some of the fun out of it.

Then again, taking the fun out of things is an INTJ specialty, our Bitchy Resting Face telegraphing our disapproval of your trivial, so-called “fun” preoccupations, even if that’s not our intention. “Ayn Rand, party animal” is not a phrase that has ever been typed before this actual moment.

Now, imagine me as president. Within 24 hours, roughly one-third of the planet would have been nuked, and U.N. headquarters evicted and imploded. (The rubble will be folded into the wall on the southern border.) The Department of Education would be shuttered, its former employees sent to work on new pipelines and oil rigs. The Social Security eligibility age would be boosted to 75. And no more “disability” checks unless you’re actually disabled.

Some of you might be thinking, “Woohoo!” That’s because you’re smart. But now imagine someone exactly like me in charge, but working for the other side.