5 Feet of Fury

My NEW Taki’s column: No taxation of menstruation!

Meh. There were lots of things I struggled to articulate and couldn’t do so before my deadline, so I left these thoughts in the comments:

I’d intended to put in that in England, disability benefits are called “personal independence payments,” which certainly sums up the mindset of, and relationship between, the rulers and the ruled. Why are these people merely nibbling around the edges, plugging one hole (as it were) then another, rather than calling on the abolition of the whole system? At least, why isn’t that their unalloyed primary INSTINCT, like it is mine? Because they are all wimps invested in the rotten system, begging for crumbs. It’s fun to make jokes about it but it is painful to watch and scary to think that we are all trapped in this mess.

Also: Cameron begging his EU bosses for favours on behalf of his country’s women had something of the droit du seigneur scene from Braveheart about it, not?

Anyway, here’s the column. I can’t imagine how you get “JOOOOOOOOZZZZ!!!” out of “tampons” but someone will manage, I’m sure…

Background: British women have to pay a 5 percent value-added tax (VAT) on “sanitary products,” and Cameron’s government can only abolish it if they first grovel before the EU.

The Mail calls the Brussels meeting “humiliating” and “embarrassing”—now we’re getting somewhere!—but Chancellor George Osborne insists that, somehow, the subsequent compromise “showed the value of being a ‘powerful, confident voice’ in the EU.” (No word on whether there was any swimming or horseback riding before or after the meeting.)

Between the “tampon tax,” those regulations on “bent bananas,” and the ruling (after “a three year investigation,” no less) that bottled water could no longer claim to prevent dehydration, is it any wonder so many Brits are sick of Brussels pulling the strings?

RELATED: A commenter at Spiked-Online imagines Jeremy Clarkson’s review of “the EU Behemouth” which is almost perfect except that, alas, Clarkson is anti-Brexit…

The EU is an unwieldy hulk of a vehicle with handling easily surpassed by smaller models such as those developed by the Swiss and Norwegians. Fuel economy is abysmal and deteriorates with age. The chassis is falling apart, with integral parts seemingly wanting to abandon ship. Good luck actually getting to where you want to go in the EU Behemoth, because what’s weird about this EU model is that steering is not governed by the driver, who is demoted to the status of a back seat passenger as the EU autopilots you slowly but interminably towards a destination not of your choosing (pre-determined by unelected committee meeting in secret), so instead of going from A to B you’ll soon find you’ve gone from A to Z and missed out B altogether. Along the way it will automatically stop and allow hitch hikers to board, regardless of if they might be crazed maniacs and with no regard as to how much space is left in the increasingly cramped interior. All in all, nobody in their right mind would even dream of inventing or buying a car such as the EU Behemoth. It should never have left the factory.