5 Feet of Fury

(His)panic at 20,000 feet: My NEW Taki’s Magazine column

Seriously: How can the comments possibly be “JOOOOO!!!!”-y this time? We’ll see…

(I expect there will be more of the “He-Man Woman-Haters’ Club/Why does this woman have a Taki’s column when I don’t?” variety)

Now, being Canadian means I don’t have to deal with Mexicans as much as you guys do.

So I’ve probably got some stale-dated ideas about them, primarily that they’re basically equatorial Eskimos: stocky, simple folk who, whatever their other shortcomings, at least have no (Chevy Suburban) truck with the crazy white man’s fake-ass “issues” and “triggers” and suchness. Never mind “snow”: I doubt the Inuit have a word for “neurosis”; if there’s one in Spanish, I’m guessing that, like “particle accelerator” and “savings account,” it’s as neglected as a pit bull chained in the backyard. (Sorry, but last week Adam Carolla called Porta Pottis “Mexican space shuttles” and I’m still laughing…)

So this is what it’s come to, America? Your Mexicans have allergies now? What’s next? Collecting old 78s? Asking for dressing on the side?