5 Feet of Fury

My secret boyfriend died! Alan Rickman has passed away at 69

Yes, he was a commie pinko, but Alan Rickman had what I think The New Yorker once described as “an anachronistic face” — that made him perfect for period dramas — and yes, the sexiest voice on the planet. I would have happily sat on his lap while he read aloud from the Manhattan telephone directory…

Rickman was sanguine about his legions of admirers, who declared their love on countless websites, video tributes and at stage doors. Even scientists were not immune: in 2008, linguistics professors concluded that the most appealing male voice mixes elements of Rickman, Jeremy Irons and Michael Gambon.

I’ve been thinking lately, post-Bowie, of which celebrity deaths I’m dreading most. Rickman’s wasn’t one of them. I’m more shocked than sad. (See, “pinko, commie” above.)

So of course, like everybody else is going to do today, here’s: