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5 Feet of Fury

Kathy Shaidle's blog. Est. 2000

Flashbak is a fun site but sometimes I don’t think the guy gets out much (and this is me talking…)

June 30, 2015 By Kathy Shaidle

I loathe “…but if you listen to the lyrics…!!”

If you don’t already and always “listen to the lyrics,” then you are a Grade A retard I went to high school with/member of my stupid family I haven’t spoken to in years.

You’re an idiot. Period.

Only stupid people don’t listen to the lyrics of pop songs at the same time that they are listening to the tune.

How hard is it to do, actually?

Yet it never ends.

Remember in a previous century, when this song was, like, the official tourist anthem of some Caribbean country?

“Hands Up.”

I mean, yes, it’s supposed a (rather odd) metaphor for “love” or something like it, but jezuz, they might as well have just picked this and had done with it:

It can’t really be dawning on this guy just now that “Every Breath You Take” is about sexual obsession or, if you insist, “stalking. “

If you really find the lyrics of “Bargain” “disturbing” — and yes, they are about God, not some chick or dude, but it doesn’t matter — then your inner life must be utterly barren. Were you lobotomized? This is a serious question.

Besides, none of these lyrics are particularly shocking if you’ve ever listened to old blues songs. No, they weren’t played on the radio much, but still.

When the lyrics to that one are printed on the web, they usually leave out the last verse.

My entire life I’ve been forced to suffer because other people are dumber than I am.

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