5 Feet of Fury

The Hunt for the Right Wing Snipe: My NEW Taki’s column

Can’t predict the “JOOOOOOO!!!!!”-yness this week…

If you’re Canadian, you’ve been hearing for most of this century that Conservative Prime Minister Stephen Harper is a racist “Dominionist” Christian with a “hidden agenda” and that any day now, the country will transmogrify into The Handmaid’s Tale.

In actuality, the PM’s spittle-spraying critics – rather like TV’s Bigfoot Hunters or those cranks camped on the shores of Loch Ness — believe far more devoutly in Harper’s Christianity than he’s ever seemed to. His real “religion” appears to have something to do with hockey and cats.

Even the Soviets quickly realized that their go-to cartoon insult – sticking a cowboy’s Stetson on every president’s head – didn’t work with JFK. But Canada’s progressives? After three elections, they still can’t admit their “Harper with devil’s horns and/or fangs” drawings have clearly had a less than devastating effect on voters.

Look: The guy’s doubled our Muslim population since 9/11 and/yet his Jewish voter base gets bigger every year. Plus I have yet to be fitted for my government issue ankle-length skirt.

Worst. White supremacist dystopia. Ever.