5 Feet of Fury

Don’t Give the ‘M-word’ An Inch: My NEW Taki’s column

I can’t imagine the comments being the least bit “JOOOOOO!!!!”-y this week, but I’ve been wrong before…

The Little People of America make it their business to campaign against another “M-word” – yes, that’s the phrase they use:

The word “midget” is considered by Little People of America to be an antiquated slang term and is most often used in a derogatory manner toward a shorter than average person, or specifically, a person with a diagnosable skeletal dysplasia or medical condition.

Whereas I consider the LPA discriminatory against me, because I’m apparently one inch too tall to join their group – and membership has its privileges, I see. Why won’t they give an inch? This is heightism straight up (although not too far up…)

Yes, “heightism.”

In December, Russia banned “those under 4 feet 11 inches from driving most trucks and commercial passenger vehicles, purportedly as a way to decrease car accidents.”

It’s news to me and millions of dash-cam fans that Russia has the slightest interest in reducing the number of motor vehicle collisions. I figured all those monetized YouTube videos were now their leading source of GDP.