Zoologist Donna Sheridan said: “Cockneys probably first encountered hipsters while visiting their local for a traditional evening of boozing and being a character, only to discover it was full of web designers and ‘vintage’ Ms Pac-Man machines.
“Subsequent drunken copulation created a completely new strain of twat with wanky job titles like ‘internet viral imagineer’ and a tedious fixation with the folklore of east London.
“It’s increasingly common to walk down Shoreditch High Street and see a thin young man with a handlebar moustache claiming this is where Ronnie and Reggie Kray shot down a German bomber.
