5 Feet of Fury

Our Cute Little Protestant Friends: My NEW Taki’s column

I’m not even gonna peek at the comments this week…

“The unexpectedly popular Martin Luther figure … sold out its first edition run of 34,000 within 72 hours,” according to the Independent.

Remember: We’re not talking about some beloved Disney or Pixar or Marvel Comics character. This is a long-dead old white guy—a religious figure, no less.

Playmobil’s little “Hello Kitty”-looking Luther has such an adorable wee face, you just can’t imagine him thinking mean stuff about the Jews. He wears a period academic gown and cap, and—cue Saturday morning commercial announcer’s voice circa 1972—comes complete with accessories: a white quill pen and an open Bible. I don’t read German, so for all I know, those squiggles read, “F—- the Pope!” and “I’m running off with a nun.”’