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5 Feet of Fury

Kathy Shaidle's blog. Est. 2000

Best thing to come out of this ’50 Shades…’ movie may be this review of the soundtrack album

February 17, 2015 By Kathy Shaidle

Dave Holmes writes:

A brief ride in a Standard Hotel elevator from a singer so new she doesn’t even have a Wikipedia entry. When you put her name into the search engine, Laura Bush comes up. This song is 100% more fun when you imagine Laura Bush singing it. (…)

This song approaches “Columbus Ohio wine bar” sexiness levels. (…)

I watched that Lance Loves Michael: The Lance Bass Wedding Special thing on E! last week, and there was a segment in which the grooms were thrown a dual bachelor party, replete with go-go boys and a penis cake. After the obligatory lap dance, the boys did an interview and Lance said: “I think I need a cigarette.” Do you, Lance? Were you actually turned on by an oiled, emaciated child rubbing his Lycra taint on your forearm while a crew of production assistants collected appearance releases, or are you just playing what you perceive to be your role in this dull, hypersexualized world? (Also, who says they need a cigarette after something sexy happens? It is my strong suspicion that Lance Bass learned how to be a person by watching YouTube tutorials.)

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