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5 Feet of Fury

Kathy Shaidle's blog. Est. 2000

Jim Goad: Am I Thankful This Thanksgiving? Not Entirely

November 24, 2014 By Kathy Shaidle

Jim Goad writes:

I know I’m in the minority with this, but I think the invading blue-eyed pale-skinned hordes made far better use of the American continent than the pre-Columbian indigenous yam-diggers were ever able to manage, despite their visually striking feathered headdresses and admittedly catchy war chants. There are plenty of worse places to live than the USA—so sure, yes, I’m here to declare that this Thanksgiving, I’m thankful I don’t live in any of those places.  (…)

It doesn’t tickle my gizzard to observe that in almost every way—whether measurable, perceptible, instinctual, theoretical, or even metaphysical—young white males today are tremendous pussies compared to their burly, world-conquering forebears. You’ve seen these guys—the little beard and the little glasses and the little smirk and the little sweater covering their little shoulders—they never quite grow up, do they? They exist as deformed tadpoles rather than full-grown, vibrantly belching bullfrogs. For both comedic and dramatic purposes, white-male machismo needs to make a serious comeback. That would make me thankful.

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