Stop taking naked pictures, you morons! My NEW Taki’s column

When Clay Aiken is the voice of reason…

“Anybody who takes inappropriate pictures of themselves deserves exactly what they get,” Aiken told the Washington Post last month. Of course, he was referring to impossible-to-avoid reports that Jennifer Lawrence, Kate Upton, and other stars had been “hacked,” and digital nude photos they’d stashed in cloud storage had been leaked for all to see.

Within living memory, Aiken’s commonsensical remark would’ve been filed under “Dog Bites Man,” barely worth reporting, let alone commenting upon.

Alas, we now live in a “Man Bites Dog, Launches Highly Successful Dog Meat Restaurant Franchise” world.

Take a look. Compared to the scant media attention Aiken’s political platform has received, potential voters might be forgiven for assuming he’s running on a “keep your damn clothes on” platform.

I’m not slagging the media here, or even average citizens. Most of us—myself included—are more familiar with the contours of Kim Kardashian’s ass than we are with the terrain in Khartoum. In fact, I’m not entirely convinced that’s something we should be ashamed of.

And I mean every word:

Clay was robbed.

Now what he needs to do is record an album of 80’s “alternative”: OMD, Depeche Mode, The Cure and, obviously, “Take On Me.”