‘If you were ever sick in bed, as a child, during the pre-cable Seventies or Eighties…’

..then perhaps on those sick days — when the sun lit the carpet in warm unwelcome squares, casting reflections onto the screen as you nibbled your crackers — you had the great good fortune of seeing, on your television with its few lousy UHF channels, a movie like The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms…