5 Feet of Fury

In which I ‘celebrate’ Gay Pride Week/Month/Geological Epoch at Taki’s

My LATEST column, in which I unveil my new name for transsexuals: “Suicides in waiting”…

One email I got last Friday came with an irresistible subject line: “O.J. = sex change?”

Naturally, I assumed this meant that Mr. Simpson was taking the baton, as it were, from fellow star athlete Bruce Jenner, and flirting with transsexualism. Why not? Richard Speck went from chick slicer to dick slicer in maximum security. O.J. Simpson might as well go from Heisman to “Heis-woman.” Taxpayers foot the bill, and you probably get better treatment behind bars. Hey, if it doesn’t fit, then you must snip!

Sadly, no. But the real story’s almost as good.

First Nicole Simpson lost her head, then these guys did too…

BONUS: I feel pretty comfortable guaranteeing that there will be way fewer Holocaust deniers in this week’s comments!