5 Feet of Fury

What would we do without journalists, our moral and intellectual superiors?

The same paper that brought you Watergate helpfully explains:

“If you don’t go to the dentist, your teeth will literally fall out of your head”

There’s even a helpful chart by way of illustration, which — you guessed it, because this is liberal-run America — PROVES that those awful hicks in Arkansas don’t go to the dentist as much as people in Connecticut and other areas frequented by Washington Post reporters, and all their teeth are falling out, because Deliverance is a documentary, everybody!