5 Feet of Fury

‘Finally, Science Explains Why Women Love Rock Stars’

As we mourn the demise of DirtyClassicRockConfessions, let’s turn to “science” for solace…

We’ve always known that musicians do well with the ladies, but now we might have a scientific reason why this is the case. According to a new study, it appears to be less about looks or image and more about the music as an indicator of good genes. (…)

The ability to create complex music could be indicative of advanced cognitive abilities,” wrote Dr. Benjamin Charlton in the report. “Consequently, women may acquire genetic benefits for offspring by selecting musicians able to create more complex music as sexual partners.”

(This “study” likely underwritten by Ric Ocasek…)

Anyway, this fails to account for the attractiveness of male musicians whose “ability to create complex music” is obviously limited…

On the topic of musicians and looks, Captain Sensible’s recent 60th birthday — here he is absolutely refusing to give it up:

…reminded me that he is the only male “rock star” I can think of who endeavored to look less attractive than he actually was.

This compulsion was commonplace, and encouraged, when it came to female punks.

Despite Joe Strummer saying “The great thing about punk was, if you were ugly, you were in,” he wasn’t particularly ugly himself, despite the teeth.

Captain Sensible seems to be the only guy who took up ridiculous, intentional disfigurement.

I don’t know what would compel a fellow who looks like this:

To walk around in public like this:

And no, I don’t know which particular intramural feud that scribbling is referring to. Speculation is welcome.