5 Feet of Fury

‘The judges basically say, ‘Congratulations on making noise come out of your mouth.”

The best thing about American Idol this year, besides Caleb, is this gay former contestant’s recaps.

Sample:

Additionally, I will take this time to tell you that my favorite performances this season come from Jennifer Lopez noticing herself in her monitor.

YES! This is so meta, but yes.

Noticing Jennifer noticing herself then pretending not to notice herself while at the same time primping and rearranging her smile — you could run all those clips together and make what would have passed for a profound experimental film in, say, 1971.