5 Feet of Fury

Too many Catholic priests are gullible uptight misanthropic control freaks

Pigeons won’t actually “explode” if they eat the rice thrown at weddings:

Given that it seemed to them safe enough to try from a conceptual standpoint, they decided to go ahead with testing instant rice out on real birds (Krupa owned 60 doves and pigeons), which he fed a diet of nothing but instant rice and water for 12 hours, as much as they wanted.

After 12 hours, the birds all lay dead at the bottom of their cages and Krupa was splashed with red paint by PETA after being fired for animal cruelty… Or… you know, the birds were all completely fine (which is what actually happened).  Not only were they all not dead at the end of the day, but during the 12 hour period while they were munching on instant rice, the birds were closely monitored for any signs of distress.  Not a single bird showed the slightest discomfort from eating the instant rice and, in fact, Krupa stated, “now they’re kind of addicted to it.”

How the myth that rice will cause birds’ stomachs to explode started isn’t known, but it has been around at least since the 1980s.  In 1985, a state representative from Connecticut, Mae S. Schmidle, decided to do what seemingly all politicians do all the time– pass laws that are based on subjects they are woefully ignorant about while not bothering to do any real research to educate themselves on it.

True story:

The homily at one’s friend’s wedding was 10% “marriage is wonderful” and 90% “no rice, no this, no that, “if this was your house how would you like it if I ran around taking pictures???” scolding.

I’ve met so many Catholic priests who were so obviously socially and psychologically retarded, it is impossible to take them seriously.