5 Feet of Fury

‘I remember my son once asked me, ‘Did you ever, like, kiss in high school?”

And I told him this long drawn-out story of how shy I was, how I finally got a girlfriend but she broke up with me because I was too shy to try to kiss her, and then I had another girlfriend but still couldn’t figure out kissing. The technique was always a big obstacle in my head, like, How do you kiss? Where does your chin go? Forget about anything beyond kissing-first base was a total mystery to me. So I’m telling my son this long story, and he listens patiently until he finally realizes where I’m going with it, and he says, “Dad, no-did you like Kiss in high school? Kiss, the band!” And I was, “Oh yeah, Kiss…they were good.””