5 Feet of Fury

I made Arnie take me to this dump

Owner Don Lombardz admitted that the lack of local thugs can sometimes be a disappointment for Frozen North crime fans, but told us that other countries (especially the U.S.) just have more bankable human monsters.

In fact, in 1999 someone stole Hitler. “He was where the killer clown is now,” said Don, referring to the spot currently occupied by John Wayne Gacy. “It was a summer night, lots of people in the museum, and when we closed up Hitler was just gone. We never found out who did it, never got him back.”

Owner Don continues to search for a Canadian to add to his museum, and told us that he’s currently favoring Robert Pickton, “The Pig Farmer,” who killed dozens of prostitutes, fed them to his pigs, and also ground them up and sold them as pork to unsuspecting customers.

“Something like that I could put in here,” said Don, probably envisioning a wax tableau of pigs eating from a trough of dismembered arms and heads. “That’s what I’m looking for. Something like that.”