5 Feet of Fury

Gavin McInnes: How To Fly in Comfort

Gavin McInnes writes:

I have feigned retardation in order to sit with a business partner for a six-hour trip. I have also done it at the priority lineup because I was late for my flight and knew waiting in the normal line would make me miss it. The attendant kept telling me I was in the wrong line, but I kept being too retarded to understand him until he let me pass.  It helps to button your top button when you do this, especially if you’re wearing a polo shirt. I have also done this at the gate while asking the woman there if I can sit with my friend. If we’re being totally honest, I may have said, “I’m #1” to the lady as I boarded and she possibly replied, “Yes you are” with a huge sympathetic smile. I’m not proud of that at all.