Mykel Board’s list may surprise you…
The goyim got presents. They wanted presents, too. Or, by golly, they were gonna become goyim.
Parents panicked. They searched frantically for a holiday. OK, the Christians have candles. We need a holiday with candles. It’s a winter holiday. We need a winter holiday. Quick, do the research.
It was tough without Wikipedia, but some Jew found a minor holiday. It celebrated a tribe of Jews who killed a bunch of people. The legend was when the victorious Jews went into the synagogue, there was only enough oil for a one-day candle. But when they lit the eternal light it burned for eight days.
Yowsah! We’ve got our candles…eight of ‘em. All we gotta do is give gifts. The kids will be happy. And we’ll avoid a mass exodus of Jews into Presbyterianism.
