5 Feet of Fury

Your moral and intellectual superiors! NYT embraces new ‘voodoo’ theory of JFK assassination, with Julie Andrews on the grassy knoll

To their credit, this IS the first new theory I’ve heard since (the libelous — but recently re-released!?) Mortal Error…

Writer James McAuley, described as “a Marshall scholar studying history at the University of Oxford,” wrote that Dallas collectively “willed the death of the president,” and that it has prospered disproportionately in the subsequent 50 years because of “pretending to forget.”

His proof?

The wives of these [powerful Dallas] men — socialites and homemakers, Junior Leaguers and ex-debutantes — were no different; in fact, they were possibly even more extreme.

(After all, there’s a reason Carol Burnett pulls a gun on Julie Andrews at the end of the famous “Big D” routine the two performed before the assassination in the early 1960s. “What are ya,” she screams, pulling the trigger, “some kinda nut?!”)

UPDATE — Ed Driscoll weighs in:

I shouted out who killed the Kennedys, when after all, it was Julie Andrews and Carol Burnett.

RELATED:

Years after Ratherquiddick, 60 Minutes and CBS still confused by whole “internet” thing

UPDATE — Self-described “old showtune queen” Mark Steyn observes:

Shortly before this performance, Julie Andrews had been starring on Broadway in . . . Camelot. Coincidence? Maybe.

But, shortly after, she filmed The Sound Of Music, and begins by declaring, “The hills are alive . . .” A reference to the grassy knoll?