5 Feet of Fury

Spengler really, really hates Fiddler on the Roof

I have to say, if there was a “Catholic” musical like that one, I’d be torn too.

And no, The Sound of Music doesn’t even begin to fit that description.

It would have to be something like Moonstruck set to music. Maybe.

(PS: Don’t even think about it. I’ll kill you ’til you’re dead.)

I mean, I’m glad y’all love us cuz you’ve spent two hours watching our infuriatingly lovable kitchy customs set to tear-jerking, toe-tapping tunes, but, er… you can go away now, m’kay?