5 Feet of Fury

Buried Lede Award of 2013

Is it too early?

Way, way down near the bottom of “I Don’t Think I Can Have Casual Sex Anymore…” (i.e., stuff I more or less inferred from my Catholic school Grade 11 “Marriage and Family” class) we’re treated to this toss-off:

I went home with a Fox news reporter and did an 8-ball of cocaine with him.

How old is this moron?

But this past week, I had a really fun night with a young man who accompanied me to a VIP table (with several porn starts, including Lisa Ann) at the strip club Headquarters for their anniversary party. He was good-looking and we were attracted, and so we fooled around a bit. We didn’t have sex, but we did enough. His demeanor changed as I’ve seen happen so many times before, particularly with men 30 or younger.

“I have to get up early for a meeting, so…” he immediately began reciting.

“Sure,” I said, and then without thinking much about it: “Do you want to hang out again?”

I thought we had a nice FWB potential as long as the respect was in tact.

“Well, you have my Tinder chat,” he said.

***
This goes on for hundreds of words and then — she draws the wrong conclusion about how to Change Her Life.

The West is doomed.

“Yeah,” I replied. “I get it.”

I was so mad at myself.