5 Feet of Fury

ALL news stories should be reported like this

Obviously:

Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., son of a guy who fucked Marilyn Monroe before having his brains blown out, was arrested yesterday for tying himself to the White House to protest the proposed Keystone oil pipeline. (…)

And tying himself to the White House certainly doesn’t make him look like a narcissistic sanctimonious douche or anything.