5 Feet of Fury

Hockey Night in Haiti: My NEW Taki’s piece

Comments should be relatively “Joooo!” free…

(And yes, it’s true — Haitians are so dumb they paid billions in “slavery reparations” to the French — their former owners.)

Thoughtful folks have been asking “why Haiti is so hopeless” long before that earthquake and its aftermath. This puzzle is compounded by the fact that Haiti’s geographical conjoined twin, the Dominican Republic, is exponentially more successful by every measure.

The problem seems obvious, if only to me: Haiti is full of Haitians.

Do-gooders try to pawn Haitians off as French-speaking Roman Catholics, when they’re actually Creole-speaking voodoo practitioners—in other words, human anachronisms.

Being the descendants of slaves has left them fatally allergic to work.

Haitians haven’t even tried to profit off the West’s seemingly bottomless appetite for all things zombie, an entrepreneurial enterprise that should’ve been, well, a no-brainer.