5 Feet of Fury

‘I would travel hundreds of miles and pay good money to see the Charleston Sambos play the Washington Jews’

And just think of the merch sales…

Jim Goad:

Personally, I liked the Injuns more when they were bold and noble warriors than thought-policing whiners. They seemed far more… honorable?

But sure, let’s focus on the kooky mascots and the team names and the foam tomahawks. Let’s never dare mention the gas-huffing and the fetal alcohol syndrome and the drug use and the teen pregnancy. Let’s never ask why these once bold and noble warriors, despite decades of federal payouts and tax breaks, still seem incapable of thriving in a modern technological society.

Don’t ever question the wisdom of bringing arrows to a gunfight.

Don’t dare search for cultural and possibly even genetic reasons for why the Indians always seem to get the short end of the firestick. It’s obvious that the kooky mascots and the team names and the foam tomahawks are to blame.