5 Feet of Fury

‘Even then, I knew they were just jerks’ — ‘Survival of the thickest now a reality, say scientists’

Lazy, derivative, cliched.

This is barely original, let alone “satire” at this point — I’ve been saying this stuff since elementary school* — and it is still amazingly accurate. Sadly.

RELATED: “Britain’s right to incompetence under threat.”

If only. I hate to see The Daily Mash losing its touch, as it has been lately.

BELOW:

As Rick McGinnis never tires of reminding me:

“Leaving the house was your first mistake.”

There’s a reason he (and I) never learned to drive, and it has only something to do with “living in Toronto” or even “having nightmares about car crashes.”

Mostly it’s because gives knowing how to drive you one less excuse for not leaving the fucking house.

 

* And those who can’t run, teach English. Annie Hall was a documentary: