Stuff I picked up in Grade 11 Catholic school ‘Marriage & Family’ class circa 1981, presented as funny ‘news’

Seriously, this is a fun article, and will (obviously) reach more people who need it than Mrs. Stinson’s voice in a dinky classroom 30 years ago.

But I still find it weird that not everybody went to my school, and therefore need to actually be told this at a funny hipster website instead…

Biology dictates that a chemical called oxytocin is released during sex and actually bonds people to one another. Do you really want to be bonded to a drunk moron with a lazy eye, Sir Biergaugles?

Sex can leave an embarrassing aftermath. You guys did horrid/awesome things to each other and now he can’t look you in the eye, you floozy. Or, she doesn’t ever want to see you again, you pig.

Sluttiness comes from desperation and loneliness. It’s just instant gratification, which is a very LCD and pedestrian desire.

It’s okay to go bonkers with a rando once in awhile, but you should really only be blazing people you actually like if you want to fall in love.

Also, threesomes rarely end well.