However copywriter Julian Cook said: “I’m a sophisticated man. I’ve known books can be sexy ever since I frotted myself raw to chapter five of James Herbert’s The Rats aged 13.
“But apparently my life partner, who was furious when I bought her crotchless panties for Valentine’s Day, now thinks it’s really hot to read about virgins signing contracts to be sex slaves.
“I’ve suggested we do some of that submissive-dominant stuff but she’s told me to piss off. I’ll never understand women.”
Francesca Johnson, Mr Cook’s girlfriend, explained:
“Sexual subjugation is hugely arousing when practised with a devastatingly handsome multi-millionaire who buys you iPads and Audis, less so with someone who picks his toenails during CSI: Miami.”
